How To Avoid Assholes At the Movies

Posted: June 7, 2011 in Uncategorized

A Remake Chronicles Extra by Adam-Troy Castro

(Written in response to a guy who says he never goes to movies anymore, because all the audiences are so disruptive).

One way to avoid assholes: see smarter movies.

I am 100% serious about this.

See a movie about a muscle-bound thug on a mission of vengeance, slitting the throats of Mafiosi, and you will encounter assholes.

See a movie about a bunch of guys who suffer a drunken blackout in a strange city and have a series of adventures related to bodily fluids, and you will encounter assholes.

See a movie about a guy with a sword cutting up CGI monsters, and you will encounter assholes.

See a movie with more than five explosions in it, and you will encounter assholes.

See a movie about a superhero, and you will encounter assholes.

Please note: good movies of all these kinds can be made…but even in those cases, that which makes them good movies for the rest of us is also what makes them attractive movies to assholes.

Assholes of the particular type we’re talking about do not go to sensitive dramas, or period films, or foreign films; assholes of a different kind can certainly be found there, but the kind I’m talking about? If they somehow do wonder into a movie of substance that requires intelligence and nuance, they usually wander out.

There honestly weren’t many people cat-calling, texting, fighting, throwing popcorn, and in general acting like total subhumans, at THE KING’S SPEECH, WINTER’S BONE, FAIR GAME, MICHAEL CLAYTON, THE LIVES OF OTHERS, PAN’S LABYRINTH, BEFORE THE DEVIL KNOWS YOU’RE DEAD, and TRUE GRIT. The actual sense that the movies in question might require some humanity in the audience served as sufficient filter to keep out those who do not live with humanity in their actual lives.
 
I do not fear the prospect of encountering loud and disruptive audiences at Terrence Malick’s THE TREE OF LIFE. Just a hunch…!

Comments
  1. […] How To Avoid Assholes At The Movies […]

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