Lots and lots of stuff, in an updated list provided for those who want to go straight to the goodies! Approaching 30 “Remake Chronicles” Essays alone, with more to come!
Remake Chronicles Essays
TRUE GRIT: The Movie Star Versus The Actor
Matinee On the Bounty: Or, That’s Not Very Christian
Wielding Prop Spears Against Real Wolves: The Two Versions of TO BE OR NOT TO BE
Three Mutes, Three Mad Sculptors, One Paddle-Ball Man and Three Houses of Wax
One Pothole Away From Death: Two Versions of THE WAGES OF FEAR
The Two Troubled Commutes Of Ted Stryker
Counting the Chips at CASINO ROYALE
PSYCHO: A Remake That Was Just Plain Crazy
Remakes For Shmucks: Two Versions of THE DINNER GAME
Yeah, That Remake’s All Messed Up: Three Versions of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD
Murders Gone Messy: Two Versions of BLOOD SIMPLE
Three Upside-Down Ships: God And THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE
When Your Baby Has A Baby: The Father Of the Bride Movies
Four Deadbeat Dads: The Questionable Parenting Skills of the Doctors Frankenstein
Just Get Me To The Church Alive: Two Versions of SEVEN CHANCES
Seymour Krelboyne’s Two Shifts at THE LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS
When CAPTAIN AMERICA Blows His Mighty Chunks
Monkey See, Monkey Two: CONQUEST and RISE of THE PLANET OF THE APES
Twenty Two Musketeers (Part One): The Ritzes Putting On You
Twenty Two MUSKETEERS (Part Two): Wherefore Art Thou, Definitive?
THE MALTESE FALCON and The Stuff That Dreams Aren’t Made Of
Two Visits to Willy Wonka’s CHOCOLATE FACTORY
MR. SMITH and BILLY JACK go to WASHINGTON
FRIGHT NIGHT: The Two Redemptions Of Peter Vincent
SAMURAI, Gunfighters, Starships, Insects, and AMIGOS
The Good, The Bad, The Ugly, The Weird
Assorted Other Film Essays
The Fattening Of APOCALYPSE NOW
Scenes That Shouldn’t Let the Door Kick Them In the Ass On the Way Out # 1: The Computer Virus
The Problem With THE NEXT THREE DAYS
Great Moments In Miscasting # 1
When Sequels Fail #1: ENSIGN PULVER
On Taking Your Kids To The Movies
My Favorite Piece of Movie Trivia Ever. Ever.
How To Avoid Assholes At The Movies
Old Rose (from James Cameron’s TITANIC) was Stupid and Evil
More Cosmic Lameness: SARAH LANDON
Something I Felt I Just Had To Rant About
Great-Ish Movies: RUNAWAY TRAIN
An Awful Clunk: Sidney Poitier and Bobby Darin in PRESSURE POINT
Another Frozen Cow: THE RARE BREED
Fiction
“Curse of the Phlegmpire,” by Adam-Troy Castro
“After the Zombies Passed,” by Judi B. Castro and Chris Negelein
Assorted Cool Other Stuff
They Actually Exist (My encounter with two very familiar characters)
The Man Who Didn’t Lie To The Cops
“A Cure For The Blues,” by Mark Twain At Last! The Batman and Robin Murder Mystery — Solved!
The Remake Chronicles 