Archive for June 18, 2012


Posted: June 18, 2012 in Uncategorized

A Remake Chronicles Extra by Adam-Troy Castro

So here I am on this cavernous, shadowy, derelict alien space ship, having just been exposed to this hologram depicting the fate of the original crew: running in absolute buckfuck terror from *something* that has clearly gone horribly wrong. I have gotten separated from my own crew, which has bugged out, and am now in some kind of storage chamber filled with drums that have reacted to the presence of intruders by leaking a black, gooky, clearly organic substance. I see tiny wormlike creatures swimming around in that goop. I take a closer look and one of those worms rears up, revealing a neck that flares like a cobra’s, and a horizontal mouth that looks a lot like a fanged vagina. It is at this point that I beam, “That’s cute!” and bend over to take a closer look. Because, you know, that IS the smartest possible thing to do in this situation. Stick your face closer to the vagina cobra.

Can you imagine what would happen to the average science-fiction movie crew if they wandered into ANY of the familiar everyday spots of our own civilization? Like behind the counter at the supermarket’s deli counter? They pass the machine with the tray that moves back and forth across the spinning blade, chirp, “That’s interesting!”,  and move their hands across the blade to see what’s up with that…